I’ve never cried while typing
before. I’m not sure I like the sensation too much, but here I am. I honestly didn’t
know what to do with myself after an hour of absolute panic and shock. I
imagine this entire post will just be a horribly written, rambley mess of my
feelings.
David Robert Jones, or as most of
us knew him, David Bowie, was one of the most important people in my life. And
I never even met him.
David Bowie has been with me since
the beginning. I remember listening to “Changes” in my family’s purple Dodge minivan
when I was small. Blasting “Rebel, Rebel” in my room at age 15. Humming along
to “The Stars (Are Out Tonight)” as I walked to class during my first semester
of college. …listening to “Lazarus” right now.
Just this past Friday, my mother
drove me to Target to buy his new album. The entire drive home, I talked her
ear off about him, telling her things I had told her before, and that she probably
knew before me, but I couldn’t help myself because he is, was, will always be,
one of the most indescribable humans to have ever graced this Earth.
He was Ziggy Stardust. He was The
Thin White Duke. He was The Goblin King. He was David fucking Bowie. And he was
so much more. He was a musical genius, as we all know. He was an infinite
talent and a source of light to so many, including myself. He disregarded
gender norms, and was a defender of self-expression. He always seemed
otherworldly, and now he has left this world. I always called him my god, but
even gods aren’t always immortal. There will never be anyone like him.
Love you forever, Starman. Rest in peace. I hope
you find life on mars.
x
Casey
PS: I could write so much more
about this man. Pages and pages and pages. But my heart hurts quite a lot right
now, and I think I need to step away.
In your fear,
Of what we have become
Take to the fire
Now we must burn
All that we are
Rise together
Through these clouds.
